Issue No. 69

Chanukah Miracle Fire on Red Line Burns For 8 Crazy Nights

2022's Hottest Fashion Trends You Can Ignore for Next 2 Years Until They Reach Marshalls

Climate Activist Subjected to Sadistic Rotting Corpse Ritual by Christmas Enthusiast

Man Masturbated for 5.3 Miles, According to FitBit

Uh-Oh! Retail Therapy Wasn't Able to Solve Daddy Issues

Bowser Ends Masks Mandate Just in Time for Barista to Sneeze Omicron into Your Peppermint Latte

Are You Asexual or Is Everyone Just Meh?

We Found Him! This Guy Was a Nerd in High School But Somehow Didn't Grow Up to be a Misogynistic Tech Bro

Freesia Lotion, Yankee Candles, and Other Holiday Gifts to Tell That Unspecial Someone to Go Fuck Themself

Georgetown Woman Unable to Celebrate Giving Tuesday Because She Has No Fucks Left To Give