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Trader Joe's Releases "Everything But the Bagel" Toothpaste
Trader Joe's Releases "Everything But the Bagel" Toothpaste
Tall, Thin, White Woman Bravely Declares "Wear What You Want!"
Tall, Thin, White Woman Bravely Declares "Wear What You Want!"
Seven Fashionable Headbands That Are Both Non-Functional and Make You Self-Conscious!
Seven Fashionable Headbands That Are Both Non-Functional and Make You Self-Conscious!
Adidas Left with $3 Billion of Unsellable 'Dilzys' after Dropping Scott Adams Partnership
Adidas Left with $3 Billion of Unsellable 'Dilzys' after Dropping Scott Adams Partnership
Kleenex Introduces New Line of Sweaters to Capture Untapped Market
Kleenex Introduces New Line of Sweaters to Capture Untapped Market
Environmentalist Keeps Garbage Out of Landfills by Keeping it in Her Apartment!
Environmentalist Keeps Garbage Out of Landfills by Keeping it in Her Apartment!
White Woman Feels Her Wokeness Grow Every Time She Says "Latinx"
White Woman Feels Her Wokeness Grow Every Time She Says "Latinx"
Shaw Woman Can't Believe Moms of Humans Don't Respect Her Fur Baby Journey
Shaw Woman Can't Believe Moms of Humans Don't Respect Her Fur Baby Journey
Millions Shudder as Think-Of-Gift-For-Stepdad Season Gets Underway
Millions Shudder as Think-Of-Gift-For-Stepdad Season Gets Underway
"I've Really Made It Now," says Tenley Woman After Boyfriend's Dodgeball Friend Buys a Boat
"I've Really Made It Now," says Tenley Woman After Boyfriend's Dodgeball Friend Buys a Boat
New Taylor Swift Album Allows Columbia Heights Woman to Delay Seasonal Depression for Another Month
New Taylor Swift Album Allows Columbia Heights Woman to Delay Seasonal Depression for Another Month
Renaissance Festival Last Nerdy Subculture With Good Vibes
Renaissance Festival Last Nerdy Subculture With Good Vibes
Revealed! The Secret DC Neighborhoods Only the 1% Know About
Revealed! The Secret DC Neighborhoods Only the 1% Know About
Dark Green Gingham Button-Down Makes Debut at DC Fashion Week
Dark Green Gingham Button-Down Makes Debut at DC Fashion Week
How to Make Friends as an Adult by Starting a Pyramid Scheme
How to Make Friends as an Adult by Starting a Pyramid Scheme
Seven Knitwear Layers to Cry Cozily in This Fall
Seven Knitwear Layers to Cry Cozily in This Fall
How to Have High Self-Esteem Even Though You Aren't Alexandra Petri
How to Have High Self-Esteem Even Though You Aren't Alexandra Petri
Cherry Swamp's Summer 2022 Playlist
Cherry Swamp's Summer 2022 Playlist
Outdoor Dining Guide: Best Bug Spray to Pair with DC's Finest Restaurants
Outdoor Dining Guide: Best Bug Spray to Pair with DC's Finest Restaurants
Do You Have a Personality or Do You Just Own a Cute Dog?
Do You Have a Personality or Do You Just Own a Cute Dog?
Cherry Swamp’s Fave DC Picnic Spots To Enjoy The– Oh Wait It’s 99° Again
Cherry Swamp’s Fave DC Picnic Spots To Enjoy The– Oh Wait It’s 99° Again
Dinos, Coke, and Orgies: Smithsonian Employees Dish on Late-Night Solstice Benders
Dinos, Coke, and Orgies: Smithsonian Employees Dish on Late-Night Solstice Benders
Seven Father's Day Gifts That Say "I Don't Know a Single Thing About You, Dad"
Seven Father's Day Gifts That Say "I Don't Know a Single Thing About You, Dad"
Buzzuto Properties Switch to A/C Only If You Pay Monthly $600 No-Sweat Fee
Buzzuto Properties Switch to A/C Only If You Pay Monthly $600 No-Sweat Fee
Glossier Georgetown Debuts Exclusive Dewy Foundation "Hellfire with 110% Humidity"
Glossier Georgetown Debuts Exclusive Dewy Foundation "Hellfire with 110% Humidity"
Q1 Check-in: 2022 Personal Planner Remains Empty
Q1 Check-in: 2022 Personal Planner Remains Empty
Mount Pleasant Man is Well Traveled, Still Unlikeable in Many Different Cultures
Mount Pleasant Man is Well Traveled, Still Unlikeable in Many Different Cultures
Wow! White Woman Owns 27 Different Colors of Crystals But Has Zero Black Friends
Wow! White Woman Owns 27 Different Colors of Crystals But Has Zero Black Friends
Top Spots in Malcolm X Park to Hang Your Hammock So People Will Say, “Yeah, That Guy’s Cool”
Top Spots in Malcolm X Park to Hang Your Hammock So People Will Say, “Yeah, That Guy’s Cool”
Friend Can’t Help You Move, Must Lift Tires at Crossfit
Friend Can’t Help You Move, Must Lift Tires at Crossfit