Biden Press Release on Afghanistan is Just the "Well, That Escalated Quickly" Meme
Issue No. 54
Biden Press Release on Afghanistan Is Just the"Well, That Escalated Quickly" Meme
"I Love The Variety of Restaurant Week" Says Man Who Will Go to Matchbox and Get His Usual Order
Summer Restaurant Week returned Monday with over 200 restaurants across the DC area participating, offering incredible brunch, lunch, and dinner menus. Drew Orvin, a 29-year-old man from Park View, is pumped for the variety that Restaurant Week offers. He’s planning to go to Matchbook and get his usual order.
“Restaurant Week is a one of a kind opportunity to try the wide range culinary options that DC offers,” said Orvin. “That’s why I already made a reservation at Matchbox. It’s my favorite restaurant and I go there almost every week.”
“Some friends have asked me why would I go to Matchbox during Restaurant Week if I go there all the time,” said Orvin. “The answer is very simple. I love variety and diversity, and Matchbox is offering their hot artichoke and spinach dip, which they don’t usually have. This is a very special moment for me. I’ll also order my regular pepperoni pizza”.
“Drew has always had a unique taste in food,” said his father, Don Orvin. “We lived in Peru for almost three years when I got transferred for work, and he would only eat Domino’s. Talking about food is making me hungry. There are so many dining options but I guess I’ll go for a slice of pizza.”
As DC Quarantine Restrictions Return, Ace Hardware Sees a Spike in Plant Sales
American Muslims Brace for Flood of Conversations With Coworkers Eager to Discuss Taliban After Reading One NYTimes Article
What’s that? A slack DM from Brad? You have to double check, since you never interact with Brad from accounting. Was there an error with your timesheet? You open it, curious...Nope, no, absolutely not. The caucacity! His message reads: “Hey, saw this and thought of you. So sad what’s happening over there. Curious to hear your thoughts, if you’d be open to a lunch time chat. Hope your family is ok!” Brad has skimmed (not even read) ONE NYTimes article about the situation unfolding in Afghanistan and is eager to discuss his thoughts on the Taliban with you, the token Muslim in his life (honestly, probably the only one he knows, never mind that your family is from Morocco not Afghanistan). You delete the message. Not today Brad, not today.