Campaign Email Gently Threatens to Kidnap Family if You Don't Chip in $5 By Midnight

Friend– 

How are you today? Just kidding, we don’t care. 

Our team has grown so close since we first reached out 4,386 emails ago. We’re family now, and like your actual family consisting of your beautiful wife Tess and precious eight-year-old son Jackson, it’s best we stay together.

Will you chip in $5 right now to help our family make this midnight deadline?

Creepy hour, midnight, isn’t it? Fundraising goals, and many other things we hold dear, can so quietly slip away at that time.   

We get that it’s hard to stay optimistic in a race this close. That’s why when we need inspiration, we think back to 15 months ago when little Jackson hit his first home run when no one thought he could. Yes, that’s right, friend: that game did occur well before this campaign launched. 

We’ve been watching for a long time.  

[Chip in $5]

[Chip in $10]

[Chip in your estimate of what your wife and child are worth]

Thank you for your support. We’ve got a tough road ahead, so just remember:

Blood is thicker than water, but it can be removed with bleach if you make it come to that. 

Love,

Your Real Family