What Your (C)hanuk(k)ah Spelling Says About Your Fuck Style

It’s time for the other December holiday! The one with the oil and the candles and stuff. But of the million (sixteen) ways to spell it, how you spell it says literally everything about your fuck style.

What’s the one you tell your sex guests and what is the real one?

1. Hanukkah: Missionary

2. Chanukah: Doggie style with the lights off

3. Hannukah: Reverse cowperson

4. Chanuka: Just the tip then pulling out

5. Chanukkah: Spanking it to wikiFeet

6. Hanuka: Scissoring

7. Channukah: Oral only

8. Chanukka: Mutual masturbation on Zoom

9. Chanuga: Have you even heard of sex?10. Hanukah: 69ing11. Hanukka: Hand stuff in the last row of a movie theater

12. Hannukkah: Strictly butt stuff

13. Channuka: Heavy bondage with nipple clamps and candle wax

14. Xanuka: Exhibitionist! Sex in a synagogue?!

15. Hannukka: Google is free

16. Channukkah: Orgy. The more the merrier.

Previous
Previous

Jesus Just Wants a Casual, Low-Key Bday Brunch This Year, Nothing Special

Next
Next

Five Tips for Doing the Bare Minimum at your Workplace's Secret Santa