Shaw Man Stunned to Learn the VRE Exists

Jason Mendham’s jaw hit the floor Friday after hearing news that the VRE will offer free fares to riders during Metro blue line closures this September. 

“There’s a train? Just for Virginia?!” said Mendham, still slack-jawed. “I barely knew the Metro went past Arlington. I guess there’s a whole other state out there, huh? Wowzers.” 

Mendham, a transplant from Pennsylvania, has scarcely left the District since he arrived in 2018. “I’ve got brews, bros, and Ben’s Chili Bowl right here, why do I need to leave?” When asked what would get him to cross the river, he said “I do need an IKEA trip.” When we pointed out that the College Park location is closer, he said “Oh, then nothing.”