The Horny Dude's Guide to Using the Heat Wave to Slide Into Her DMs

What’s up freaks -- it’s summer! Time for exposed bodies and skin… everywhere. The horny dude’s dream! Even better, there’s a freakin’ heat wave heading across the DMV right now. Let’s bring the heat inside and slide into some hotties DMs. And if you don’t know what to say, brother, try these on:

1) “Babe, I don’t even think the AC could cool down your hotness”

Sweet, a compliment. She’ll deffo bone you now, my man.

2) “Don’t worry, I can take your mind off all the at-risk elderly folks”

Woah, showing you care. She’ll def want in your pants, muchacho.

3) “The heat index isn’t the only thing that’s rising right now”

BRO! Get her thinking about your dong, my dude!

4) “I would like to have sex with you during this heat wave.”

Wow - radical honesty. Bro, I’m so proud of you.