Sex Positions Named After DC Landmarks

Man winking in front of an array of D.C. monuments
  • National Mall = one partner sits on top and makes very slight movements back and forth like they’re riding a segway

  • White House = you’re only let inside if you have an appointment and photo ID, don’t touch anything!

  • Lincoln Memorial = he’s much bigger than you expected

  • Jefferson Memorial = dirty, nasty romp in pond scum

  • Smithsonian Castle = taking a five-year sabbatical from letting anyone in

  • Capitol building = butt plug

  • Washington Monument  = full-on pegging

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